In a “half-surprise” I have been promoted to Associate Producer at my job starting tomorrow!
I am so exccited to take on this new role and getting to work on more aspects of our shows, including sitting with our editors to actually create things! I call this a “half-surprise” because I knew this promotion was coming and that as long as I didn’t have a major screw up, I would move up on December 4th for the start of awards season but instead I begin tomorrow as we start to work on the American Music Awards.
While this is a huge accomplishment for myself, I’ve been slacking on something else that is super important to me (and is starting to get kinda urgent) and that’s moving out. Right now I’m still at home, and while I love not having to pay rent/utilities and having my parents to help me out, I need to leave. The commute is killing me mentally as I lack sleep and wastre so much of my day doing it and physically as I go from sitting in a car to sitting at my desk and back to car. I’m not super far from my office but it’s the traffic and some really bad drivers that make it unbearable and I always start off my work day flustered as I run in a few minutes late. While I’m learning to not let it affect me as much thanks to reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, it’s something I can definately live without. With less driving overall, I could accomplish a lot more in that time and lower my stress in other areas of my life and probably be an overall happier human.
Another downside to living at home is the lack of space. I do have my own room but when I come home at night I want to unwind not in my bedroom because once I get there my brain automatically goes “okay, unpack yiur stuff, lay out clothes, hang up stuff, get ready for gym and bed” and I don’t want to automatically jump to that after getting off the freeway. And while I LOVE my parents, after using my brain to drive and be at work, the last thing I want to do is have a full conversation with them I want my brain to just power down for a few minutes while I pack tomorrow’s lunch and coming home to a full living room gets overwhelming. All together plus my anxiety, I do tend to get short and rude which I hate doing to people I love and I try to avoid as much as possible, but it does slip out. My parents are also very involved in my life which I appreciate that I’m so close to them but it does feel like I’m being crowded and they know my every move. That feeling of them knowing everything is what has hindered me from working on myself and this blog more in fear that they’ll judge me for my thoughts and actions even though I know deep down that that’s false and it’s just my anxiety talking. It also all catches up to me every once and awhile and I just cry for no specific reason and I feel like my world is completely falling apart.
I’m also lacking a social life since I’m far from friends who live deep in LA or Orange County and trying to go out with them takes a lot of planning and doing anything on a weekday is impossible. It’s hard having friends that seem so close but when it comes down to it, are quite far and I miss seeing people outside of work more often and even just having time to call them and say hi.
So while I did move on up in work, I am so ready to move out! Housing plans and roommate situations seem to be constantly changing and I NEED to be out before awards season begins in December and all my time disappears until post-Oscars. But with this new title (and the slight pay raise) a studio apartment now seems possible. It’s time for me to quite procrastinating and get down to it, wish me luck!